Movies: "King Arthur" "Snatched" "Paris Can Wait"

“King Arthur”- Legend of The Sword”… Charlie Hunnam of “Sons of Anarchy” fame passed up the “50 Shades Of Gray” franchise because he didn’t’ want to be known for soft porn. So instead  his  big debut as a movie star has him basically playing his “SOA”  character in medieval times. At times, he’s as so Jax-like, I  half-expected him to say “I got this”, before he off’d another bad  dude.  This movie is loud- overbloated with special effects and seems aimed at  tween & teenage boys who love video games. 

Pretty soccer  boy David Beckham makes a cameo  all uglied down on at least one side of his face- he’s in the scene  where  Arthur pulls the sword out of the rock. Just in case you  don’t  want to miss him, Director Guy Ritchie  is seen in a flash, not to be  confused with flashing. 

Seeing this opens Mothers Day weekend and so many  women LOVE Jax from “Sons Of Anarchy”, you’d think Charlie Hunnam would  have been shirtless more- at least as much as he was in SOA. I mean one  shirtless scene???!!!  More proof  that Guy Ritchie is a guy’s  director. You’d think he would have learned a few things from ex-wife  Madonna. The one positive: the clothes and hair were awesome.  Jim   might be happy to see his fellow Vikings playing  such  a big role.  And  to think there are 5 more of these movies  on the way.


1 star 

 

“Snatched”…a mother-daughter kidnap caper for  your Mothers Day weekend.  The good news is Goldie Hawn is back for the  first time  in 15 years! The bad news is this isn’t a great  film. Not  even good.  It’s screwball comedy at best. 

Amy Schumer  returns for the first time since the  instant classic “Trainwreck” as another boozy , loser who is dumped by  her boyfriend on the eve of their dream vacation to Ecuador. After  everyone else turns her down,  she convinces mom to be her plus-one.   Wanda Sykes and a mute Joan Cusack are fun as the couple they meet along  the way.  “Law & Order’s” Christopher Meloni stars as a crazy dude.  

There are a few trademark Schumer moments..just  not enough. And a silly silly premise. Maybe if you treat mom to a few   drinks  first…..Then again, maybe if you just make mom brunch and   watch  some old Goldie Hawn films on Netflix….

 

2 stars

 

“Paris Can Wait”…Eleanor Coppola  (yes- Francis  Ford’s wife and the Cope’s aunt) at 81 makes history as the oldest woman  to make her fiction directorial debut  on a loosely biographical  PERFECT Mothers’ Day movie for the empty nester mom. Diane Lane stars as  the wife of a busy director, who instead of joining her hubby on a  flight,  takes a road trip from the South of France to Paris with her  hubby’s partner.  It’s a travelogue and foodie paradise  as you wonder  will she or won’t she have an affair.  It’s Diane Lane’s meatiest role  since “Unfaithful” 15 years ago. No pun intended. Alec Baldwin stars as  her  hubby. It was supposed to be Nicholas Cage but he dropped out 10  days before the shoot began!! This was made pre-Alec-Trump.  You can  catch my interview with  the Cope’s Aunt Ellie on “Sonstein Sessions” on  the Iheartradio app.

 

2-and-a-half stars

 

“Lowriders”..Charlie Hunnam isn’t the only “SOA”  star with a film opening this weekend. He competes with fellow SOA  member Juicy, Theo Rossi , in “Lowriders”.  This is a triple-a version  of “The Fast & Furious” , focusing on a Hispanic family in East  L.A.’s  car culture. The dad is old school. His youngest is a talented  graffiti artist and the oldest , Theo Rossi, was just sprung from  prison. A very de-glammed Eva Longoria is the loving step-mom. Like “The  Fast & Furious”, it’s all about the cars and family  without the  glitz and stunting.  Low budget “Fast & The Furious”, with no humor  but lots o heart.

 

2 stars

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