Shelli Reviews: 'Fifty Shades Darker'

So- I have this theory that the new director of the “50 Shades” sequel AIMED to make a movie so bad, you have to see it.  “Fifty Shades Darker” is  50 shades dumber.   

After dumping S&M gazzilionaire Christian Grey at the end of the last movie for too much “S”, Anastasia for no explicable reason, takes him back. His big woo over dinner: he was willing to renegotiate their contract. Now THAT’s romance! 

There’s a new director who throws in more sex (she’s topless and shows a lot of naked butt) and there’s more humor...but the big laughs in the theater came at the cheesiness, stupidity of the dialogue and the bizarre unbelievable plot lines. Even the appearance of TWO Oscar winners (Kim Basinger and Marcia Gay Harden) didn’t help. In fact, I was astounded at how bad Basinger’s acting was in this film.  

I will say this: this movie will make Ben Wa balls the big Valentine's Day gift this  year. How can a movie with so much sex be so unsexy???!!  

On the plus side, this will no doubt be the big winner at one awards show: the Golden Raspberries- for the WORST movie & acting of the year- and we’re not even 2 months into the new year. This could be the  worst  soft porn movie ever made. And we still have one more Valentine's Day we have to get thru next year with part 3. Oy.

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