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This Is Why I Don't Go To Strip Clubs

 
Posted May 21st, 2014 @ 6:20am

I don't like strip clubs. I hope you don't judge me too badly for that statement. But let's think about it: The beers are over priced. The ATM fees are out of control. And I really don't want to pay $20 for 4 minutes of attention only to be ignored when the money runs out. Plus there are too many rules: Sit, no touching, no sex in the champagne room, etc.


Now Quebec, that's where you go for no holds barred stripclubs!

This guy in Texas either never learned the rules of the strip club or has forgotten them. You don't fall in love with a stripper. I've seen it happen before. It's pathetic.

Look they don't love YOU. They love your money. That's how it works. It's one of the oldest games. (Well pong, but that's for another time)

He lost his laptop, about $2000, and his entire collection of Harry Potter DVDs. Which begs the question: when did strippers start accepting DVDs for payment?

But when you look at a photo of this poor, computer programming slob, you actually begin to feel sorry for him. But you can understand his type. Here's a helpful ven-diagram to understand better:



I'm being kind. They circles should be closer together.

So now he's suing to get some restitution. But I wouldn't hold my breath. I think to best course of action is for him to keep telling himself that he helped put an underprivileged girl through college.

Maybe that will help him from casting a suicide spell...

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