“The Great Wall”- no- not Donald’s wall…though   that would make a great movie. This is THE wall – as in the Wall of  China.  It’s a fantasy thriller that’s half subtitled since most of the stars are Chinese. It’s basically Matt Damon as an ancient mercenary who helps a fantastically costumed army defeat an army of dinosaur-like creatures who happen to be super smart.  Some are criticizing it as a white savior movie but I saw it more as female empowerment since the general is a woman and the leader of the creatures is a queen.  Willem Dafoe has a throwaway role.

The 3D is mostly a waste , as usual.  This one gets an A for looks only.   At least it’s short- just over an hour and a half.

 

2 stars

 

 

“The Cure For Wellness”… the movie is as confusing as its title. I’ve never heard so many critics leave a theater all saying, “I am sooo confused”.  This overly long (close to 2-and-a-half hours) gothic thriller  centers on an aggressive young corporate exec who is sent to Switzerland to bring home the company CEO  who refuses to check out of a wellness spa/treatment center.  It’s sort of like the Hotel California of wellness centers.  As in you can never leave.  There’s so much weirdness- even a scene straight out of “Marathon Man”- you know- the dentist scene??  Really trippy stuff Made by the “Pirates of the  Caribbean” director.  It’s fantastic to look at but don’t try to make any sense of what’s going on.  I kept waiting and waiting for the  payoff  that never came.  Did I mention  there’s lots of nudity? Calm  down- it’s mostly older people. Sometimes dead people.  

 

2 stars