“The Other Woman”

3 women vow to take revenge on the guy who cheated on them all.

It’s really hard to believe this not funny comedy was written by a woman (Melissa Stack) since not one thing in it rings true. It begins with a first-date hook-up between Cameron Diaz’s Carly and the Aaron Eckhart look-a-like Nikolaj Coster-Waldau which turns into an 8 week dream romance til she shows up at is Connecticut home only to have his wife , a very grating Leslie Mann (Kate) open the door.

First off, how does a married man spend so many nights and weekends at his very-sharp-lawyer-gf’s place if he’s married ??? Taking the flip side and he didn’t see the gf on weekends, wouldn’t the sharp lawyer realize her perfect guy was “taken”. And what kind of cheater would give his mistress his addy??!! I mean his HOME address?? And what kind of cheated-on wife befriends a mistress, much less two of them??!! Kate Upton makes her screen debut in a tiny white bikini and is adorable but looks a little uncomfortable every time she speaks.

Cameron Diaz has great comedic timing but it’s Nicki Minaj who steals every scene she’s in. Leslie Mann is just annoying in this film. Grating and annoying. I just wanted to shake her.

There’s lots of unfunny slapstick humor that goes on way too long. Jokes feel old- especially when it comes to the revenge , ranging from dumping hair remover in his shampoo to sneaking a constipation remedy in his drink to putting female hormones in his morning juice to make him grow man boobs.

I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that this mess was directed by Nick Cassavetes, who helmed my absolute favorite modern romancer, “The Notebook”.

Do yourself a favor and cheat “The Other Woman” out of box office money. I promise- you’ll feel cheated if you waste your money on this close to 2 hour worse-than-a-bad-sitcom film.

1 star

“The Quiet Ones”

A jumpy-dready “Exorcist” wanna-be from the recently revived legendary producer of horror films , Hammer.

From the producer of the modern-day English version of the vampire film “Let Me In” comes “The Quiet Ones”, a set-in-the-early-70’s retro tale of demonic possession. The jumps come fast and furious, from the opening scene. Most of the jumps aren’t visual: they’re the sounds. Fantastic use of audio here!!! This is no goregy (gore orgy). It’s all about the jumps and dread with the payoff at the very end.

The acting standouts : Olivia Cooke (“Bates Motel”) as the possessed and Jared Harris (Lane Pryce on “Mad Men”) as the professor experimenting with a “cure” for her. Sam Claflin of “The Hunger Games” fame loses his horror movie virginity as the cameraman filming the experiment.

As a 70’s period piece, this one scores with music and fashion. As a horror film , well it’s a mash-up of so many that’s gone before it. So there’s no new ground. But there are enough jumps to keep you on edge.

2-and-a-half stars

“Walking With The Enemy”

A World War 2 thriller based on the real life story of an Hungarian Jew who disguised himself as a Nazi officer to save the life of thousands of Jews during The Holocaust

The relatively unknown Jonas Armstrong carries this 2 hour long amazing story of World War Two heroism. Set in the last 18 months of the war, this is the story of Pinchas Rosenbaum (whose name was mysteriously changed in the film to Elek Cohen), who escaped from a certain death in a work camp to join a group of resistors who forged passports to get Jewish families to Switzerland. That was heroic enough. But this is a man who went on to use a stolen Nazi uniform, using his perfect German to pose as an officer, saving Jewish lives time and time again. While most of us in the U.S don’t know his story, he’s a hero in Hungary.

It’s also a real life love story with our hero romancing fellow Hungarian resistor Hannah, played by British tv actress Hannah Schoen. The only big name star in this film by first time director Mark Schmidt, is the little-used Sir Ben Kingsley as Hungarian leader Horthy, who protected his Jewish countrymen and women til the last months of the war before he broke his uneasy alliance with Germany til the last months of the war.

Armstrong easily plays our real life hero. Sir Ben is underused but plays a critical role when it comes to understanding the local history.

The problem is this film is a little too Hollywoodsy- taking too many liberties with a story that’s amazing and incredible enough to stand on its own. It’s kinda dumbed-down for Americans. But it’s a story more than worthy of the big screen and Jonas Armstrong is a standout.

2-and-a-half stars